Ooongatz: The Beginning

The year was 1998. Sarah McLachlan was busting up the charts. Pinky And The Brain was the top cartoon show that all the kids were watching. Dawson's Creek was gayin' up the WB. Armaggedon was dominating the box office and I graduated from high school. This was a good year to be alive in America. Oh yeah, one more thing, There was a monster running a muck in the city of Downey, California! 

You see, there was this monster who lived on my street and down the hall from me. This was a ghastly looking thing. It actually looked a little bit like Kirby (The old video game character) but more angry. It made this noise like Owah Owah Owah Ooohwah. It's name was Ooongatz, and it preyed on helpless kids.

So this one time me and my friends Jason Parks and Adam Van Scoy were hanging outside of the church, when all of a sudden we heard this little boy screaming like a little girl. It was Kevin (Back then Paddy was known as Kevin) Wilkinson. Jason was like, "hey little guy what's wrong". Padd I mean Kevin answered, "there's a monster chasing me"! Then we saw Ooongatz. Adam ran away. Then the monster ate Kevin.

Jason and I looked at each other and then went underneath the Martin's van for cover. Then Amy Morrison, Nicole LaFramboise, and Tara Venturella walked out of the church and wondered why we were cowering underneath the van. We explained that a monster had just eaten a little boy and we were afraid that we were next. "Oh my gosh" Nicole shouted! The monster picked her up and ate her.

Then we heard the song, "Mmmbop", by Hanson playing in the backround. It was Nathan Charlton driving his Carmengia. The monster hated Hanson with a passion and picked up the car and ate it with Nathan still inside.

Jason, Amy, Tara, and I tried to reach for cover, but it was too late. Ooongatz picked us up and ate us. Not too far away, John McClain was putting his guitar in his truck and saw this happen. He then remembered in the book, "How To Kill A Monster By Playing Music", that you can kill a monster by playing the song, "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone" by Paula Cole. John started playing. Then two of his strings broke. The monster then ate John. Paul Wallace and Jason Yost just happend to be in the neighborhood and saw that John was playing that song. The two brought out their instruments and started playing that song.

Ooongatz then started shaking and coughed everybody up. Then the monster died and everybody lived happily ever after.
-Whut up now!