Saturday, November 10, 2007

Fat Football

The year: 1998. The place: Griffiths Middle School. The reason: Fat Football! So this one time we were all getting ready to play Fat Football at Griffiths Middle School when all of a sudden we heard a groaning noise. Tim Harbaugh thought it was Joe Israwi. It wasn't him. Dave Greilach thought it was Brian Flinn. It wasn't him. Amy Morrison thought it was Brian Stern. it wasn't him either. I knew what it was. It was the monster, Ooongatz.

Oongatz charged straight at us. Mike Wain and Jeff Barrick tried to throw sticks at it to make it go away. That didn't do anything but make the monster angry. Then, off in the distance, Ooongatz saw two little boys playing hopscotch. It was little Kevin Wilkinson and Little Tommy Burkhardt. immediately the monster charged towards the children and went straight to Kevin first. Then the monster ate Kevin. Tommy didn't know what to do so he fought the monster, but the monster ate Tommy.

Most of the guys who were playing became babies all of a sudden and got the heck out of Dodge. Only Tim, Amy, and I stuck around because we couldn't let this happen. Tim remebered reading somewhere that you could kill a monster by playing country music. So Tim ran to his car to turn on his CD player. as he was running Oongatz came running after him. Oongatz caught up and ate Tim. I remembered that I had my portable CD player on me and I had one country song on my CD. It was, "Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks. I brought my headphones to the monster and said, "listen to this, Tubby!" It turned out that Garth Brooks was the monster's favorite singer and then the monster ate me.

Amy thought that enough was enough. She really had no idea what to do. She picked up the football we were playing with and threw a perfect spiral and hit Ooongatz right in the stomach. Thus, causing the monster to cough everyone up and killing the monster. After all of this madness, I found $100.00 on the ground and took everybody out to El Taco to celebrate.

Ten minutes later, Dave Greilach returned to the school because he had lost $100.00. Back then, $100.00 was a lot of money. After he could not find the money he went home and told his parents. He then got the beating of a lifetime. "That'll show you not to loose $100.00", his mom said as he was beating him.
-The End



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