An Actual Blog... No Nonsense This Time
Today I had a crazy feeling. I felt unexcited about going to church. Inststead, a friend and I went out for breakfast. I just don't understand, I used to get really excited to go even if I wasn't getting anything out of it. Maybe that's it, I'm fed up with not getting anything out of church. I find myself going more to set an example for the students and I go for the worship and the fellowship afterwards.
I have checked out Revolution (A small church in Downey that some of my friends go to) a couple of times but, I told myself that I was not going to turn my back on Downey First Christian because they have helped me out a lot. Plus, I have established myself as a youth leader and I really like helping out at The Burn (Our student ministries).
Another thing is that I am starting to feel distant because I only have a few friends my own age that go to my church. I know, I shouldn't go to church for friends. That, for the longest time was the only place I could go to hang out with my friends. A lot of them started going to different churches or they moved away. But I am greatful for the friends that I have.
I just really miss the energy I had long ago. I miss getting something out of a message. I miss going out to lunch every week with my friends. I miss Sundays. I want it back damn it! I don't know what I have to do. but I'm gonna do something. I wish I knew. Gosh!!!
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself because this may just turn out to be "EMO". I guess this is why the blog was created in the first place, to vent out against the man.
Please if any of my friends read this, I am in pain here. Please pray for me. I need something.
-Thank You
Labels: Time To Vent
posted by The Lunaverse @ 4:25 PM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
Chris,
It's nice to read a blog filled with real Luna feelings and not the character "luna" who I also enjoy!
I know I used to feel the same way you did regarding many of your points. I too dreaded going to church and found myself going, sitting there tuning it out / just trying to get through it and when I'd pay attention I'd pick apart many of the *problems* and just dwell on that. I realized that negative / idling attitude didn't help me or the church.
Once I started to attend our new church I felt both excited and rejuvenated in both "holy spirit" and in my body. I also found myself remembering sermons throughout the week (I couldn't remember the last time that had happened in over 2 years) and really enjoying the worship (also can't remember the last time that happened).
It all really made sense to me and I felt good again and excited about church and it didn't take me long to want to get involved and offer my talents.
I'm not posting this to convert you to any other church or to tell you to leave your church as you do have a lot of good things going on.
I will encourage you to pray, ask god what he wants for you and don't be afraid to listen to his answer and obey / put it into action.
I'll be praying for you Chris!
Wow Chris! This is a whole different Luna than the one I'm used to!
Like Angelo, I felt the same way you did. I found myself just looking forward to going out to lunch afterward, not to go and hear about the Lord. That's sad. I also miss the way things used to be. Angelo and I truly felt like we were just complaining all the time. That was, until we found our new church. Don't get me wrong.. I felt VERY torn about leaving DFCC. That was my home for so long. That church did so much for me and I will always have a special place in my heart for it. So, when we left if was very hard. But, one thing I kept telling myself (and still do) is that really, we all play for the same team. Whether it be at DFCC or Revolution or Arizona or Huntington Beach or where ever, we are all in it for the Lord. So who cares what building we go to? As long as it's for Him, right?
I think some times we need different things at different points in our lives. While DFCC was awesome for me during my youth and college years, right now I need something different. I found what I needed at Revolution. Now, I'm totally not trying to get you to come to our church (although you are welcome anytime!) I'm just saying, pray about it, see what the Lord wants for you. I had to do that myself! It has become overly obvious that this is where I'm supposed to be and I haven't felt this on fire in years! However, I also think you ARE doing great things with the kids at DFCC, so it could be very well be where you are supposed to be, or the Lord may be telling you to move on and go check out other places until you find one that works for you, who knows!
Angelo and I are here for you anytime, I'll keep you in my prayers. Keep us updated, Luna, you are an awesome guy and I really enjoy the "real" you now and again!
Don't be Emo!
Stay cool Chris. If you have to change churches to get some Spiritual fillin, do it. Plus you can still come to the Burn on Wednesdays!
Chris,
I shared many of your same feelings and can relate with you.
You will be in my prayers and know I am always here and always ready to grab an after church bite to eat or just hang out. Keep your head up!
Tim
Chris;
I can honestly say that my heart broke while reading your blog. Even though I was gone for a long time I would always hear about how you were doing. How you were making leaps and bounds in your faith and service to Jesus. Knowing that you have gone through so much in your life over the past
10 years I have continually been astounded at the positivity, joy, and heart you bring to every situation.
First and foremost I trust that God is still speaking to you even in this time of confusion and frustration. He draws you near every day and I hope that you will continue to make him a priority.
Secondly, there comes a point in time when a choice has to be made. You may very well be the thing that DFCC needs the most. As you are a testimony to what God can and does do through that body of believers. But, and although it would be tough, God may be telling you that it is time to move on. Because although you are apart of DFCC you are also part of a much larger movement. You are a part of the Body of Christ...His Church...His Bride...His hands and feet.
You have so much to give and so much to offer people that I know that no matter where you are you will be a blessing and a joy.
My hope and prayer is that if you stay at DFCC that you will give it your all. And that if you’re not being challenged by the teaching, then you would find ways to challenge yourself...and make even more time for God on your own. If you choose to stay give it everything you have...surrender it to God and trust him to bring more and more friends and people that you will be able to influence and share in this journey. All the while knowing that you have friends that are just down the street that would do anything for you at anytime.
If He calls you to go. Then go. Not out of anger or frustration or bitterness but out of a heart of gratitude that God has used DFCC and all the people who have invested in you to make a huge impact on your life.
Regardless a choice will have to be made. Ask yourself the question what is going to better for the Kingdom of God? And then ask yourself what is going to better for me?
I am praying for you, and I will continue to pray that God gives you wisdom and direction. Know that the door to my home is always open to you. And the doors of Revolution are always open as well. Whichever decision God leads you too...I hope you know how proud so many of us are of you.
In Awe of His Grace
Christopher
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