Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Truth

In August, my roommate, Erick and I got into a scuffle. One of the things that happened was that when I first moved in, it was going to only be for six months. Those six months have turned into three years. In those three years, I have not really kept up my end of the bargain.

I am not a very tidy person. My parents never really taught me how to be a tidy person. So all of this time I really haven't been doing a good job keeping the house clean. I am also very lazy. I usually wake up at 9 and play video games or watch movies until I have to go to work at 2:45pm. He really started getting tired of this.

He said that he was tired of me taking advantage of the situation and wants me out by October 4. If I can find a job by October 4, I can stay until February.

So here's what happened since our little scuffle. I have kept a cleaning log of what I clean every day. So far I have been keeping up with it. I clean something everyday. Some things are on a cycle. I vacuum every other day. If there are dishes in the sink, I clean them. I clean the bathroom every weekend. I don't watch that many movies or play that many video games anymore. I apply for jobs everyday I have been calling every place that I apply for. So far it hasn't been good. Nobody seems to be hiring. I am not giving up.

I'm really trying to better myself. I've been keeping myself accountable. Growing up, I don't know why, but my parents never really showed me any life skills. My grandparents and other family members tried, but I never really saw them too often. Nobody showed me how to save money, how to clean, or take care of myself.

My dad watched a lot of TV. So much that he got a lot of his parenting from TV. I remember I was eight or nine years-old and I did something bad. I don't remember what it was. My dad asked me, "How would Jason Seaver (The dad on Growing Pains) handle this? My sister went missing when I was younger and he asked me, "How would My Two Dads handle this"? I know I joke around a lot, but that actually happened.

Enough about my dad, I have two options that I really don't want to pursue. I have an uncle that lives in Utah who wants me to find a job out there. I would have to find the job first before I go and move there. I would have a place to live and I wouldn't have to pay any rent. I have another uncle who lives in Virginia. He would help me find a job out there. I would have to find a place to live though.

The option that I want to pursue is that I need to find a full-time or a second job here in Downey. I have an interview for a job in Utah. I'll be making the same amount of money there as I do at Albertsons. I hope to have a car pretty soon so I can widen my areas.

October 4th is creeping up on me. I know I did this to myself. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be homeless. I didn't want to ask for help, honestly, I don't know how. I just know that I had to get this out in the open. It's been really tearing me up inside. If anybody out there can help me. Please let me know.


At September 17, 2009 at 12:04 AM , Blogger said...


I appreciate you being truthful.

Life IS hard, you were dealt an exceptionally tough hand and for many years... maybe you didn't deal with it or maybe you didn't know how to... regardless I applaud your recent efforts to better yourself and essentially grow up, it's a good thing.

The job situation is tough but hang in there and keep on being persistent, remember the dominoes analogy we talked about... maybe it starts with a license or a new job or some classes or whatever... the point is once the domino effect starts your life / maturity will continue to improve. Remember though, this will on only continue as long as you keep up the effort.

You are clearly making the efforts as you've stated and that's a good thing. Please don't lose the faith, it'll happen and remember the timing is NOT in your control and I trust you know who's control it is in.

You have a good heart and are filled with blessings to those around you.

Keep on praying, we'll do the same for you and keep your chin up man.


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